If you know me well – no, this is not Photoshop.
I can’t even list how many things happened and changed in these last four months, but the main consequence is that I finally feel calm, serene, and things in my mind are getting clear.
I spent so many years feeling I was in the wrong place. Often it was a pain. Actually, it was always a pain.
Also until two weeks ago, I wasn’t even expecting I would end up in Australia, it wasn’t even on my list of places to visit in the next five or ten years.
After this accomplishment which was surfing for the first time – in Gold Coast! Can you believe that? Actually, I still don’t – I realize that my photography brought me here – in these moments I understand that I’m not just “OK” – I’m conscious of my abilities. And you’re not “not good enough”.
That’s why I proudly want to share some tips to be happy, or start searching for your own happiness, that I realized today.
Stop bullying yourself
If you’re always forcing yourself into doing it better, or performing more, or “fixing” what’s wrong in your life… You are in an internal conflict with your own mind.
Ask yourself: What are you moving toward, and what’s holding you back? Do you really want what you’re trying to force yourself to do? Find your reasons.
Stop confusing comfort for happiness
Most people don’t understand the difference between happiness and comfort. They choose terrible relationships, unproductive habits and stay in dead-end jobs because it feels comfortable and “fine”. But they’re only trapped in stagnation.
Stop doing things only to please others
We’re all people-pleasers to some extent. And that’s okay. Wanting to be approved of – and loved – is natural. It’s when you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem.
Because you want everyone to like you. To love you. Pleasing everyone seems to be the answer. So you fail to speak up, fail to say what’s on your mind, fail to allow yourself to be the real you. Instead you become the go-to person: The one who will always take on more work and stay late. The one who will always say yes. The one who never says no.
Stop staying bitter
If there’s something in your past that you think about regularly or that you feel irrationally mad about, it would serve you to do some self-reflection.
Everyone has been rejected, made fun of or failed in one way or another.
If years later, you are still ruminating and trying to convince yourself why such-and-such a situation is beneath you, consider that it’s because you feel you are still beneath it.
Stop accepting excuses as justifications
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort
Extra one: take the advice only of those you’d want to switch places with
The opinions of other people are like anchors.